The Good and the Bad of Couples Therapy
February 15, 2015
The thing is, all of us want our relationship or marriages to work out. Couples therapy is a way of trying to find a solution for conflicts and problems that couples are basically unable to handle properly on their own. In a couples therapy session, the two partners would have to sit down and talk about their feelings and thoughts with a trained professional, usually known as a couples therapist. The main goal of couple’s therapy is to assist couple to gain a better understanding of themselves and their partner. In Arlington, Virginia, a lot of couples have undergone couples therapy but not everyone has succeeded. Believe it or not, there are both advantages and disadvantages of going to one so before you and your partner decide to go to the best couples therapist Arlington, VA has to offer, check out its pros and cons.
One advantage of going to couples therapy is that the therapist will be considered as a knowledgeable third party and will be able to see things that couples do not and will point these out to them. These can include pointing out the following: patterns in the relationship, choices that the couple has not thought of, intentions, the reasons behind particular reactions, consequences of words and actions, possibilities, conflicts in expectations, hidden expectations and beliefs that they have not realized that they have.
If you are in couples therapy with a competent therapist, he or she will help you move out from that stagnant place in your relationship that you have been stuck on for some time. Your therapist is your objective observer who will help you get unstuck.
A good couples therapy session will also help you identify that you have flaw in the way you think and act toward each other. It will help both of you understand your situation in the same way. For example, your partner sometimes walks away during fights and you interpret that as uncaring. In a later unrelated event, your partner says something and walks away. In his or her mind, he or she has simply passed along a piece of information and gone about his or her business. You, because of the numerous arguments, think this is just another example of your uncaring partner. You have misunderstood the current situation. Couples therapy will help you recognize this kind of misconceptions and in turn, fix them.
The only disadvantage so far I am seeing in a couples therapy usually have something to do with the therapist himself. One important thing that can make or break a couples therapy is to know if the therapist also believes that your relationship is worth fighting for. If the therapist claims to be neutral, there may be danger in that way of thinking and can eventually affect the therapy sessions because neutrality undermines the desire to stay in the relationship. This kind of ambivalent behavior will lead to the therapist asking you to weigh the advantages of staying together against the disadvantages of separating and this leads to shifting the goal towards personal gains instead of fixing the relationship.